More Beer Quotes
Life is too short to drink cheap beer
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
* Catherine Zandonella
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself
a pleaure.
* Ambrose Bierce
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. A woman
drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
* W.C. Fields
Beauty lies in the hands of the beerholder.
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
* Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
* His reply
If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomaches.
* David Daye
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
* Oscar Wilde
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
* Henny Youngman
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of
the timeand have the time of your life.
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
* Tom Waits
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Beer is good food.
You don't like jail?
Naw, they got the wrong kind of bars in there.
* Charles Bukowski
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it
makes beer -hoot out your nose.
* Deep Thought, Jack Handy
It's better to have beer in hand than gas in tank.
Life is too short to drink cheap beer.
Beer - it's not just for breakfast anymore
Beer: Nature's laxative.
Beer. If you can't taste it, why bother!
One more drink and I'd be under the host.
* Dorothy Parker
All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking
Barry Manilw.
* Dave Barry
When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year.
I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with
slightly over half that quantity of beer.
* Postpetroleum Guzzler, Dave Barry
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
* Dave Barry's Bad Habits, Dave Barry
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and
oxygen, for eample, there would be no way to make water, a vital
ingredient in beer.
* Dave Barry
My problem with most athletic challenges is training. I'm lazy and find
that wokouts cut into my drinking time.
* A Wolverine is Eating My Leg
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
* Humphrey Bogart
Friends don't let friends drink Light Beer.
If nothing beats a Bud, given the choice, I'd take the nothing...
Draft beer, not people!
Adhere to Schweinheitsgebot. Don't put anything in your beer that a pig
wouldn' eat.
* David Geary
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
* David Moulton
A drink a day keeps the shrink away.
* Edward Abbey
People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just
like to pe a lot.
* Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
Put it back in the horse!
* H. Allen Smith, an American humorist in the '30s-'50s, after he drank
his firt American beer at a bar.
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